It used to mark the beginning of summer. It used to be about the three day weekend. Today, it became about remembering, honoring and missing. It became about appreciating those who also take time to remember my loved ones who have passed away.
We drove to the Pleasant View cemetery this morning. I could see the dark granite marker of my parents's grave before we even passed through the gate. For all the crapiness the marker actually means and makes permanent in yet one more way, it is beautiful. We left flowers. Flowers for Mom, flowers for Dad, flowers for Grandpa. We weren't the first. There were already arrangements there. Other family, maybe some friends. It's hard to know. There was a small flag for my dad. It was raining. Not so hard we got wet, but enough to match my mood about being there.
It's all so final. It's not that I expect Mom or Dad to come walking around the corner and yell surprise or anything like that. It's just one more thing that will remind me that they are gone for now. Yes, I know the plan of salvation. I appreciate the plan and look forward to the day that I will see Mom and Dad again. However, the part of the plan that says life should include struggle and trials sucks sometimes. Not saying I don't want struggle and trial, just saying I'm not always excited about it.
3 comments:
Indeed. Love you.
I saw pics on Amy Brown's facebook of all the pretty arrangements on everyone's headstones. They looked so pretty. The headstone is beautiful. I know how you feel, it's not easy. Glad you were able to make it over there yesterday.
I'll say it. I don't want trial and struggle. They suck.
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