Mother's Day

Mother's Day has been a very fluid and changing concept for me. Growing up, it always meant celebrating how great my mom was and is. On my mission, it meant connecting with family. Since I've been home though, it has changed dramatically traveling to an extreme, and then to the other.
Our first Mother's Day as a married couple was pretty non-descript. We had been married about two weeks, probably hadn't even finished opening wedding presents yet. I'm sure that we spent time with both our moms, but I'm sure it was not much special.
The years that followed were less than joyous where Mother's Day was concerned. Miscarriage, failed adoption and watching our friends and family bring children into their families, while we were left childless caused me to grow bitter. Mostly to the point that I tried to ignore the day altogether. I would put on a happy face for my mom and mother in law, and feign joy for my friends and family who were mothers, but the day was always agony. A stinging reminder of my inability to fix something that was wrong. I was angry, and it was not a good time.

Two years ago, we got to enjoy Mother's Day in a way previously withheld from us. Hadley's arival was perfect. When we met him for the first time on our fourth anniversary he changed us. That year, Shalee was a mom, not just an amazing woman with a mommy heart.

Since then, every day has been a celbration of motherhood. I know it sounds corny, but even on the hardest, most trying days Shalee is still a mom. She is the best mom. She was always meant to be a mom. She takes real joy in being a mommy. The boys adore her, as do I. Now and forever she is a mother, that can not be kept from her any longer. Years from now, when we sit in our rockers beside eachother she will still be a mommy. She is amazing, and I am so thankful that she is the mother to my children. I look forward to continuing our journey through life and parenthood with her.

Shalee, I love you. Thank you for being a mom. Thank you for taking the time to be a mommy to our boys. You amaze me.